The Fight Against Cyber Bullying

There used to be a day when bullies would go face to face  and make threats, jokes, or perform other pranks on another child. Today the profile of a bully has even changed. At one time bullies were big, intimidating, and  took advantage of the small shorter children. Today they are the smaller, less intimidating, yet computer savvy individuals that can bully through the internet.

In today’s blog I want to talk about the new type of bullying that has caused a great amount of concern in our schools and overall lives of our youth. This bullying is called cyber bullying. According to Wikipedia the definition of cyber bullying is the use of the internet and related technologies to harm other people, in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner.  

Just to let you know the state of cyber bullying today:  

1.   32% of teens say they have been targets of a range of menacing online activities.

2.  20% of teens say “people are mostly unkind” on online social networks.

3. 88% of social network users say they have seen someone be mean on websites.

4. 1 in 6 parents know their child has been bullied over social media(Gilkerson)

Many principals, teachers, and other school officials can tell you that cyber bullying takes up a lot of their time especially on Mondays because of the internet bullying that happens on the weekends. This is something that as parents and overall society we can’t ignore. Parents truly need to be aware of this because your child could be a victim. You may be asking, “What are the signs that my child is being bullied?” 

     

Here are some but not all the signs that your child is being bullied:

    

 1.Coming home from school with damaged clothing or other belongings.

 2.Unexplained cuts, bruises or scratches

 3.Afraid to go to school or participate in other school-related activities.

 4.Drop in grades and performance

 5.Having thoughts of suicide

 6.Appearing sad, angry, or often moody.

What to do if your child is being bullied:

 1.Talk to your child about bullying and ways to avoid situations. Know that they may not tell you right away if their being bullied due to not wanting to be called a “snitch” or “tattler”.

 2. Set up a meeting with the principal, counselor, or teacher about your child being bullied. 

 3.Take immediate action by gathering as much information as possible about who’s doing the bullying. The school may even have camera footage of bullying.

 4.  Encourage your child not to retaliate. A fight will only lead to a suspension which will cause your child to get failing grades.

 5.As a parent, don’t try to contact the bully because it only leads to more bullying. Let the school officials handle the situation.

In some cases when a child ignores the bullying long enough, it fades away. But whatever happens, make sure violence is not the answer. Also make sure that you’re proactive and don’t wait until something bad happens. It’s important for parents to have access to their child’s social media websites too. Everything you want to know about your child is either on their computer or phone. Sometimes you have to be nosey. I understand giving a child space but don’t end up being the parent that finds out their child committed suicide or was beaten by a bully.

So with all that said, I will leave you with my advice to ask questions, keep open communication, and be aware of what's going on with their social websites in order to protect your child. 

The Cinnamon Challenge

Parents, I want to give you some information of a new phenomenon that has started amongst kids and young adults that can be very dangerous. It’s called "The Cinnamon Challenge". The Cinnamon Challenge is when someone challenges another person to actually eat a teaspoon of cinnamon without drinking water for a minute. I know you’re thinking, “What’s so exciting about eating cinnamon? “ It’s a bet or challenge that many teens can’t seem to resist along with their curiosity getting the best of them. Of course we all know that peer pressure is a very strong thing that many teens can’t overcome so it makes this challenge even more intriguing to them.

I was very disturbed when I heard about it, and did some research about this and found that the creator of this challenge actually had the nerve to make a website with a Facebook and Twitter link. On the website people are encouraged to submit videos of kids doing the challenge. There are also thousands of Youtube videos which are very disturbing.  

The dangers of this challenge:

1.     Choking can occur as a result of the dry powder getting caught in the throat.

2.    Severe chest pain and vomiting can occur if cinnamon gets inhaled instead of swallowed or spit out.

*  

     Please click on the links below for more information:

http://www.cinnamonchallenge.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjVJOj7SYdU

Parents, I encourage you to investigate this ridiculous game for yourself. Ask your children if they know about this challenge and talk about to them about how to deal with peer pressure. Don’t allow them to be a victim to this challenge which could potentially do some serious damage to their health. I hope this helped you and please post comments.

Tips on preparing your teenager for college

Time seems to fly so fast in the lives of parents. Most of you can probably remember vividly walking your children into the kindergarten room.  They may have been real excited or cried because it was the first time you had to leave them. The next thing you know, they’re in high school and before you know it, you’re at their high school graduation. As a parent, you want to make sure that the many memorable moments in your child’s life as it relates to education is a positive one. In this blog I want to give some tips to make sure your child is on the right path for preparing for college.

The first step in preparing your child for the future is to find out what occupation he or she wants to go into. In the earlier stages of a child’s life, you will find that they don’t know what they want to be when they grow up. Many children go through 4 years of high school and don’t know what career path they want to pursue. Unfortunately, the mentality of some teens today is “think about today and I’ll worry about tomorrow later”. In my experience as a Principal, many children that don’t have future goals are typically the at-risk youth that often get suspended. On the other hand, you have those who want to be a professional athlete without a plan B for an occupation.  According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are 9,380 professional athletes and you have a .00565% chance of becoming a professional athlete. If your child wants to be an athlete, you don’t want to discourage them. However, they need to know the percentage of those who actually make it as a professional athlete and then choose another career in the case sports don’t work out.

The second step to help prepare your child for college is to guide them to an occupation. What I mean by this is to expose them to various professions and allow them to discover what they want to be. For example, have a simple conversation about various occupations with your child. You can even have them do research online about certain jobs. Try having them Google search “career survey” and do an occupational survey. After finishing the survey, various careers will be displayed based on their answers. You may also discover what kind of jobs would best suite your children by observing the things they like to do as hobbies. Whatever you do, don’t limit them to one occupation. There are thousands of different kinds of jobs in the world and sometimes what you think would be best for your child may not be what they want to be. Allow them to explore the many opportunities that this world has to offer.

The third thing you need to do in order to prepare your teen for college is to make sure they are well prepared for the college entrance exam.  Along with preparing for the exam, they need to research the various colleges and scholarships that institutions of higher learning have to offer. It’s so easy for a teenager to wait until the last minute to take the test and look for scholarship opportunities. I suggest that you have your child see their school counselor and ask about scholarships. There are so many institutions and organizations that are giving money away for many reasons. From being left handed to being short, there’s money out there that your child can get today! If you think I’m joking go to this website: http://www.collegeandfinance.com/32-weird-scholarships-almost-anyone-can-get/

The final step you need to take in preparing your children for college is to make sure they’re involved in extracurricular activities, school/church clubs and community service. Colleges not only like to know that you’re smart, but that you are an active participant in your school and community. For example, it’s looks good on a college application to know that your child was on the basketball team, member of the debate team, and volunteered at the homeless shelter. This shows colleges that your child is a team player and cares about helping others.

These are some but not all the things that will help prepare your child for college and ultimately a future career. Don’t wait until your child’s senior year of high school to do the things mentioned above. And don’t expect them to do these things without your guidance. Once they graduate and out of your house then they will have to handle all the responsibilities that come with being in college. That’s of course until they ask for money. College kids tend to call home for money sometimes. Oh how I remember those days. LOL

Jesse Duckworth

Homework? What Homework?

When you ask your child if he or she has homework, they may look at you as if homework never existed. After you find out they do have homework, let’s make sure they do it right.  I want to discuss the importance of being involved in your child’s education as it pertains to homework and study habits that will help them in the future.

I can remember the days of being in class and doing classwork only to end up looking at the chalkboard (I know I’m revealing my age) and seeing the reading assignment or given a worksheet that was due the following day. Today some teachers don’t give homework due to having classes with longer class hours allowing more time to do work in the room. Other teachers don’t give out homework because it’s not a part of their philosophy of teaching. No matter what an educator chooses to do concerning homework, it has many advantages. According to the U.S. Department of Education, studies show that homework can help students develop study skills that will be of value even after they leave school. It can also foster positive character traits such as independence, responsibility, and time management.

I want to give you with some helpful homework tips for your teenager to ensure success in the classroom and later on in college if they choose to pursue college.

Provide a place to do homework.  Most teens probably want to go to their room. That’s fine as long as you check on them to make sure they’re on task. It would also be a good idea to make sure that the cell phone, computer, television, and other electronic devices are turned off during this time. However, some kids work better with music on. Whatever helps them learn the best is fine.

Provide a daily schedule.   You can ensure your children have enough time every day to get homework done by giving them a specific time. This will help your teen learns how to manage time.

Provide support and encouragement.   Always be ready and available for questions and help by going over the instructions with your teen. Notice I said go over instruction not actually do the work. For example, if your children ask you how to do a particular math problem and you don’t know how to do it, don’t try to solve the problem! It’s okay to tell them you don’t know and get help. A good idea would be to contact the teacher or get a tutor for them.

Study groups.  Your child may benefit from studying with one or two classmates; however, make sure the group is using the time to STUDY!

Talk to the teacher.   Make an appointment to speak with a teacher if they’re having difficulties in a subject. Their teacher and the school may be able to make arrangements for extra help in the form of a tutor—the earlier your child gets the help they needs, the better.

Keep the lines of communication open.   On a consistent basis you should be talking with your teen about her homework and school. Anytime you have questions or concerns, you should speak with your teen’s teachers and other school staff if necessary, such as guidance counselors, principals, etc. By doing these things you will stay involved in your teen’s life, education, and continue to make a connection between home and school.

Jesse Duckworth

AdditionalResources: http://www2.ed.gov/parents/academic/involve/homework/homeworktips.pdf  

To be or not to be…….your child’s friend. That is the question.

                                  

Have you ever seen a show like Dr. Phil or other programs where a family is dealing with an at-risk child that constantly disrespects their parents and has problems at school? The one thing that seems consistent is that the parent(s) seem to fight with them, and then allow the child to continue to have the same freedoms that caused the inappropriate behavior in the first place. The debate or question that typically comes up in a situation like this is should parents be their child’s best friend or should there be a separation between being the parent and being the friend?

In this blog, I would like to tell you what I’ve experienced as a principal with parents being their child's friend. No matter what an unruly child is diagnosed with, I do believe the way a parent raises a child plays a huge role in their behavior. It seems as though many parents today have a tendency to shower their children with just about everything without teaching them the true meaning of working and earning money. I believe children get spoiled due to the fact that some  parents don’t want their children to experience the same bad experiences they may have had as a youth. I do understand wanting to make sure your child will always have the best support system and a comfortable lifestyle. However giving children things all the time can give them a mentality of entitlement. Most children with a mentality that they don’t have to work or earn anything will struggle in the "real world" when they become an adult. A simple practice to help your child become more responsible is to give them chores and an allowance. And while you’re at it, teach them about saving. Many of our young men and women with jobs earn a check and spend 90% of it on things they really don’t need. Teaching how to save may be boring to them but teens NEED STRUCTURE! This part of parenting is much more important than being a friend.

On the other hand there's actually a time when you can also be a friend to your children. According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of friend has several meanings:  1. One attached to another by affection or esteem, 2. Acquaintance 3.One that is not hostile 4. One that is of the same nation, party, or group 5. One that favors or promotes something (as a charity) 6. A favored companion. What parent wouldn’t want to be all of these things to their child? You should by definition be your child’s friend along with being the parent. I believe the advantage of being your child's friend is it will allow you to keep the lines of communication open with them. As a parent, you don’t want to be in a position where your child isn’t comfortable talking to you about their lives, especially concerning personal things. Teens need parents to be someone that they can look up to and give advice.They aren’t emotionally prepared to make certain decisions and need guidelines. That’s why they’re kids! If you don't have a connection to communicate with them, they will turn to their peers for advice. This is truly an example of the blind leading the blind into a ditch!  

Many parent want to be their child's best friend so much that they're afraid to tell them "no". Giving them everything they want when they want is not helping them. Step up and don’t be afraid to tell them "no" sometimes. They may cry and have a temper but you will save them a lot of grief later in life. Children that get their way all the time at home will have problems when they have to function in places such as schools and places of employment. Discipline them early in life so that their boss or teacher won’t have to. I’ve dealt with parents that don’t understand why their children are unruly and can’t seem to respect their teachers. How in the world can parents expect their children to respect others when the parents themselves are not being respected by the children? You will save your child suspension days, jail time, and even death by saying "no" sometimes.

Finally we can see that my answer to the question to be or not to be your child’s friend is yes, as long as you’re being the parent FIRST. You can be your child's friend with the goal of keeping the lines of communication open in order to know what’s going on in their world. Also you should always know when to say "no" to them no matter how they react. Remember that you’re the boss and they will thank you later for standing your ground.

Jesse Duckworth                                                                                                                            

RATED P FOR PARENTS

If you find that this blog is offensive then I'm probably talking to you. After years of working in the school system, I've seen a generation of parents lose trust in teachers, administrators, and the school system. Is it due to the media exposing teachers and coaches that had sexual relationships with students? Is it due to the growing number of kids that are dropping out of school or constantly getting suspended? Or how about the number of students graduating that can't even read? Should all teachers be seen as the "enemy" and not trusted due to the mistakes that other educators have made?

Since this is my post, and I've seen and experienced a lot as an administrator, I can say with all confidence that most educators care about your kids and love them like their own. Many actually get emotional when they feel that a child isn't working up to their potential. I've seen some teachers take this burden home and feel stressed out because at times their hard work seems unappreciated. For example some students purposely come to class with no books, pen, and paper and constantly disrupt or sleep. And don't let me get started with the unruly kids that are so disrespectful it's shameful to even mention some of the ways they can treat their peers along with adults?

The problem I'm having with some parents is that when their child gets in trouble or gets a bad grade, the blame automatically goes to the school. Why don't you believe us? Many of you have never been to an open house, emailed, or even called the school for any reason until you find out your child got failing grades. If you took the time to call the school or communicate in some form or fashion you would find out how they're doing in school and even get to know your child's teachers. Take the time to invest in your child’s future and find out if they're behaving or understanding the work. You may find out that the teacher is teaching, but your child is joking in the back of the room or just sleeping every day in class. And if a teacher does call you about their behavior, stop blaming the teacher all the time! Too many of you are being MANIPULATED! Sorry to tell you but kids do lie in order to avoid getting in trouble. And all the while you’re excusing them and not making them accountable, you're hurting them at the same time. There was a day that a child was scared when the school called the parents because they would get in trouble with the school and the parents. Now kids are threatening teachers saying they're going to call the parents because they know people like YOU will come up to the school without question and cuss out the teachers or administrators.

You may not believe this but your child is capable of bullying, cheating, fighting, smoking, doing drugs, disrespecting authority, etc. Perhaps you should check their cell phones or Facebook for proof. Some of us can look back at our high school days and remember fooling our parents. Well guess what? Your child can and may be doing the same thing. Don't wait until it's too late to find out your child was involved in something that could result in jail or even kill them. I've seen clueless parents crying because their child was sent to jail due to selling drugs or involved in other inappropriate activities. Don't allow your child to be a statistic, get involved in your child’s life! You can make the mistake of being a parent that decides to "respect their privacy" and never look in their rooms or ask serious question about their lives. My thought is as long as a child lives under your roof, you paid for their phone, computer, and so forth, there is no privacy. Staying disconnected with them is not worth it. You may be a friend on a certain level but when it's all said and done YOU ARE THE PARENT!

 I know this is a lot but there was so much on my heart. Of course I can't forget about the parents that do connect with their child’s teachers, ask questions, and even challenge them. I appreciate you and thank you for trusting and believing in our teachers and schools. By working together, your child WILL be successful!

Again I know that some readers may not agree and that's fine. I wrote this because I'm just passionate about the next generation and felt some parents needed to read this. If this helped at least one parent I did my job.

Together let's reach the next generation,

Jesse Anthony Duckworth

                                                         

Hello and welcome to my blog Common $ense. If you truly care about the success of your teenager and want some information that you can't put a price tag on, then look no further! To begin, my name is Jesse Duckworth and I've worked in the public school system for over 14 years. My educational experience as a "D" to "A"  student in high school, to getting a sport scholarship, and now running a school, in my opinion qualifies me to give YOU advice. I've spoken to teens in the juvenile system and worked in schools with students of various races and nationalities.


The one thing that has been consistent throughout my years in the school system is that the teen culture changes in their philosophies, trends, and even language very often. I realize parents don't have the luxury of taking a class on youth culture but have to learn from experience. Why deal with figuring out everything about teen culture when you have an experienced youth specialist at your service? I'm here to provide common sense tools and methods to stay on top of the new trends, technology, language, and anything else you need to be relevant in your child's life. As a result of being informed about teen culture, you will be better equipped to relate, protect, and hopefully direct your child to a pathway of success.

Trust me, I will be upfront and honest in my blogs. Following the various steps and advice I give will save your family time and a lot of money that's wasted on careless decisions kids can make. Don't allow your child to become another statistic! 

Finally, stay posted for my next blog and put your seat belts on because it's going to be an exciting, educational, intriguing, yet rewarding journey! I promise to be upfront and REAL no matter what. And just so you know, I'm a sports fanatic and tend to use sports analogies every now and then. I promise not to confuse you:)


I encourage you to comment on my blogs or email me any questions or topics you would like me to cover. 


Finally whatever decision you make pertaining to your teen just remember to just use COMMON $ENSE!


Take care,


Jesse Duckworth